I’m not a writer. If there’s anything that I struggle with on a daily basis, it’s communicating with other people. In the moments I want to say something I believe is valuable, my anxiety kicks in and I end up not saying anything at all. It’s not that I’m afraid of being judged. I fear being misunderstood, which is why I am very particular with words I use. Normally, I would take time to find the right words, and during crucial times, words are nowhere to be found. My lack of vocabulary annoys me.
Many times, I regretted my silence.
I wish I had said how much that meant to me, when my best friend hugged me saying how worried she was about me after I ran away from home.
I wish I told my grandma that she is my light, and I adore her.
I wish I had told the one and only person I ever wanted to spend the rest of my life with that I didn’t want him to leave.
I was naïve to think that there would be another time to say those. Now that it’s all too late, I realized that there are times when words don’t matter. You just have to say it.
I used to despise my existence, and I was on the verge of drowning. However, the last few years that passed made me see the world in a completely different light.
As days go by, I am able to find happiness. Now, I have this overwhelming feeling for everything that I want to put into words with hopes that they reach those who I care about.
So, here I am.
I’m ready to talk about how I was under the impression that chickens have three legs, why I despise frogs to the core, how living is painful, why Sword Art Online is a shitty anime, and other random thoughts I have.
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Thank you for being here with me.
Ellie
